Riley's Hall of Shame

When we were first getting used to him, it took us a while to figure out how to dog proof our house. He would get a bit of separation anxiety, broke out of his crate, defecated in the house then stepped on it and continued to spread it on the walls and cabinets. He has turned out quite well to be a house dog, but here are some of the mishaps we had along the way.


My dog Riley is infamous for taking guilty, shameful pictures. I am thankful he has not destroyed anything of monetary value. They have mostly been incidents where I just shake my head and say, "Oh, Riley. Why are you such a dog?!" Here are his various dog shaming days. Have a good laugh or two, and learn from my mistakes.

Hello my name is Riley and I took all all the plastic bags out of the closet (and some clothes).

Preventative: Close the closet doors.

Hello my name is Riley and I like to hump the faces of other dogs.

Preventative: Distract him with something else, like toys or food.

Hello my name is Riley and I ate out of a trash bag. Then my head got stuck on the trash bag handle and I ran around like this for who knows how long before my owners got home.

Preventative: Get a trash can with a lid, one of those with a step-on lid. Or put the trash in a room and close the door when you're away.

Hello my name is Riley and I steal other dogs' food every chance I get. This time  I  ate a week's worth of my diet within 3 hours.

Preventative: Keep dog food in tight container. If it's in a ziplock bag, put in higher places out of reach. I put this on the floor and closed the door. But Riley managed to open the door and get to it (it was a sliding door, not a hinged door).

Hello my name is Riley and I like to eat bathroom trash such as used toilet paper and tampons.

Preventative: Keep bathroom door closed!

Hello my name is Riley and I helped unwrap the Christmas presents before they are given to anyone.

Preventative: Keep presents out of reach. I put it under the bed and he found them!

Hello my name is Riley and I trashed the living room just because.

Preventative: Don't leave a dog in boredom over his tolerance threshold. Boredom and separation anxiety results in destruction. Also, if you do not trust your dog, crate him while he is home alone.

Hello my name is Riley and I ate my owner's pink slip to his car.

Preventative: Keep important documents out of reach!

Hello my name is Riley and male dogs like to lick my penis. I am not ashamed.

Preventative: Distract the other dog with toys or food. It's not Riley's fault that his penis is attractive to all. 

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Learn what triggers your dog to do naughty things. Consult with a behaviorist if the problem persists, and be consistent in your training so that you clearly state what it is you want your dog to do.